I've been staying too long in the city. My lungs hurt from inhaling the foul air, especially during the holidays when fireworks go off for hours after the clock strikes midnight during the New Year celebrations. Metro-Manila's smog was full of dangerous chemicals in fireworks that blended with the regular pollution. It was time for healing and meditation once more at my countryside hideaway in the uplands of Cavite province.
The small place that I own has become a haven for me and even a few of my friends who like spending a few days while they go about their business in the nearby towns. My little house and garden has been neglected for the time being. I notice the need for repairs, and reviving the energy that my husband and I had when we started building the house back in the mid 1990's. Imagine that...it has been 20 years!!! I can still see my daughters running to play with our country ponies...and my first farm dog, Keannu was alive and running about.
We had so much fun, and lots of dreams that seem to fade as each year brought me deeper into the golden years of my life. In fact, those same challenges still exist, but the farm has allowed me to gain back my strength, recover and sometimes heal from many challenges I had to face. I felt the pain of grief as I had to deal with passing of my mother, and then my father...older brother. The farm, with the perpetual renewing of life, helped me appreciate living more than dwelling on the hurt that death brings to those who are left behind.
I miss my father, who always showed interest in organic gardening and helped me understand that the purpose of having a farm is to provide good, nutritious food and herbal medicines to the community. I miss my grandmother and my mother and all her delicious home made food I enjoyed growing up.
I have not been selfish at all, and shared my knowledge and encouraged others who may be interested in improving their life,to grow vegetables and flowering plants around their homes.
I want to live in a country that is proud of the people's efforts to preserve the forests, and protect the watersheds that are vital to all life. I want to wake up to birdsong, and take walks again in parks and safely go about my daily routines without having to own a gas guzzling, maintenance costly, vehicle.